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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036038">Your love came in the form of a piano</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstastrophe/pseuds/casstastrophe'>casstastrophe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Short BokuAka Stories <3 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bokuaka - Freeform, Debussy Reverie, Fluff, M/M, Music, Panic Attacks, Pianist Bokuto Koutarou, Piano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:08:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstastrophe/pseuds/casstastrophe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi Keiji experiences anxiety attacks and there are certain things that help. One of them is the sound of a piano.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Short BokuAka Stories <3 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Your love came in the form of a piano</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this after experiencing one of the worst panic attacks because I felt like I might as well make something productive out of a terrible experience. It's a coping thing, I guess HAHA. Anyways, I know everybody experiences anxiety attacks differently but if you've ever had one (which I so badly hope not), I hope this feels like a proper representation of our experiences. Enjoy pianist bokuto loving akaashi &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi Keiji was always so composed. In front of people, he’d seem like the most logical, cold, and emotionally unavailable person. But, once he steps into his home, everything comes flooding out.</p>
<p>He’s heard many rumors that were meant to elicit some emotion from him. He’s heard many insults, saying he’s “way too serious” or “smile once in a while,” and he brushed it off like he didn’t care. </p>
<p>Akaashi Keiji was always so composed. But only because he has too many feelings to let out that if he constantly thought about them, he wouldn’t be able to function. </p>
<p>So he took a step into his home, tired from all the work and tired of all the passive-aggressive insults. </p>
<p>He feels his eyes fill with water, his vision starting to get blurry. He tries desperately to stop as his breathing starts to get cut off with soft coughs from quiet crying. His chest tightens, and this is how it all starts. </p>
<p>He crashes on the wooden flooring, feet shuffling to try and get back up but everything is too far to grasp. His face starts to crumple up, all the feelings that bubbled up, finally came to the surface after a numbing day. Breaths starting to get worse, his chest barely rising but not allowing it to fall completely before repeating.</p>
<p>He tries his best to breathe as stable as he can, making sure he can get some deep breaths in between. Every moment he does, his chest cavity closes in on itself, like his lungs will squish his heart until it bursts. Everything is blurry, everything hurts. He’d have to hold his breath to keep himself from hyperventilating but he never knew if that made it better or worse. A straight line from his heart that stretches to his shoulder blades seem to feel 3D, like every time he cries out, it threatens to pop off.</p>
<p>He can't think straight, body tingling from his scalp, to the tip of his fingers, to his toes. It's like he was aware of every single nerve in his body but he wasn’t conscious enough to move them. He felt every sensation as he sat there, frozen in place, fingers immobile and hands stuck in the position he last left them in. His face was fixed in a crumpled state as he struggled to make sense of anything. </p>
<p>Then he hears the piano. </p>
<p>The soft melody, the gentle press of each key, harmonizing with each other. </p>
<p>Each key played colors in Keiji's head, not needing any participation in his temporarily disabled physical state. </p>
<p>Reverie by Debussy, a classic piece that Keiji loved to listen to—Bokuto’s favorite piece. </p>
<p>Bokuto’s fingers played it gracefully, careful to soften his touch on the piano, producing the lightest sounds. It wasn’t anything special—no solid sounds or insanely difficult parts to play, but it was comfort. It was the sound of home. It was the sound that calmed Keiji down.</p>
<p>Keiji never liked being touched when he was having one of his attacks. Being touched made him feel like the world was closing in on him even more. So Bokuto always relied on his sound.</p>
<p>He was still hyperventilating, still tingling, still frozen, but he felt better. It wasn’t magic and it wasn’t instant, but it was there. The sound of Bokuto’s fingers, tapping the keys, that made everything feel like a dream, ironically grounded Akaashi Keiji to this world. Bokuto sitting on the piano seat, playing the piece like he was playing Keiji, careful not to break something so fragile.</p>
<p>As if he was assuring him, “Keiji, I'm here.” </p>
<p>This wasn’t perfect though, he wasn’t entranced by the sound to then suddenly become okay. He listened deeply, focusing on the sound rather than his internal screaming. He focused on the sound rather than his loud, unstable breathing. He focused on the sound rather than the sensations in his body.</p>
<p>This was a mere distraction to guide him to find a way to ground himself, but it was more than enough.</p>
<p>As this familiar sound fills the air, Keiji slowly gets his fingers to move a little, from the fingertip to the knuckle, it was progress. His face softens, the tension seeping away. His breathing gets deeper, sometimes still hitching but he pays that no mind. His head feels a little too light but his heart finally felt like it had more air to breathe. He could feel everything but he wasn’t frozen anymore, he could move again. </p>
<p>He sat there, breathless but with more stable breathing, letting his neck droop down.</p>
<p>The melody gets slower, getting even softer than before until all the sounds just fade away. A slight screech is heard a few meters away, footsteps coming closer, Keiji sees a hand with its palm facing him. He gives a little nod and the hand reaches up to his cheek, shocking him a little when the cold touch of the ring lands on his skin. A big palm enveloped the side of Keiji's face as his eyes are greeted with a soft smile pasted on a boy with golden eyes. </p>
<p>“Ji, how was that? it ended a lot quicker than usual, huh.” </p>
<p>Keiji held the hand on his face, a little cling was heard from the clashing of their rings. “Yeah, you played a lot softer today.” </p>
<p>Throughout their relationship, Bokuto Koutarou had seen this happen too many times. </p>
<p>Akaashi Keiji was always so composed. In front of people, he’d seem like the cold, logical, unapologetic, and emotionally unavailable person, but he’s so far from that. Bokuto knew this man was so capable of love and everything in between. </p>
<p>So throughout their relationship, Bokuto gave Akaashi Keiji his sound to grab on to when things feel so far away. </p>
<p>because for Bokuto, that’s what Akaashi Keiji is—something to grab on to when things feel so far away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys enjoyed that :)) It was really short but this one means a lot to me. I tried to keep it as detailed without it feeling too heavy since I know this topic is triggering to others. Feel free to leave a comment or something! Thank you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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